The Braggart: Hey, Susie...
Me: HI. HI. HI-HI-HI. HI. HOW ARE YOU HI.
B: ...hiiiiiiii.
Me: HOW ARE YOU HI I AM WELL LOOK AT MY PAPER IT IS WELL TOO HOW ARE YOU.
B: Have you been studying for...what is that.
Me: IT IS INSTANT COFFEE AND ALSO INSTANT CO-
Someone in the library: SHHHHH.
Me: -coa and also instant milk and some more instant coffee and there is some sugar in there too you should have some here have some.
B: <peers> That is disgusting.
Me: it is not it is delicious
B: Who let you have it?
Me: THEY ARE GIVING IT AWAY FOR-
Someone in the library: Don't make me come over there!
Me: -for free you should go and get some it's over there go get some it is the elixer of life go go go go go what were you going to ask me have you met my paper its name is paper it is about shakespeare and i love it
B: Uhm. Never mind.
Me:okay okay okay  have a good niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight bye bye bye <clackety WHAM goes the keyboard!>

((note to readers: this is not a word for word transcript of happenings, but it is DAMN CLOSE))