Hair

My hair is currently a much brighter shade of red than could ever be considered natural by any human standards. Thus, the mirror and I will be behaving rather a lot like two office colleagues will the Monday after an extraordinarily ill-conceived drunken sexual encounter in the back room of the bar they all go to Friday nights, complete with the self-conscious conviction that everyone is staring and muttering about it when their backs are turned.

Of course, that's how the mirror and I ordinarily behave. This probably says something very deep and meaningful about me. 

But I can't think of what. This is because my hair is TOO DISTRACTING. I have tied it back just to stop it from flashing red at the corner of my eyes and making me think I'm being attacked by ninjas with terrible taste in camouflage.