...actually, I do have things to say, they're just not wording themselves yet.

I caught an accidental glance of myself in the mirror at work the other day. Who is that, my instincts asked with a judder of defensiveness that ordinarily saves itself for when well-dressed ladies do that thing ladies do where they elevator-eye your outfit, then sneer.

I hate that.

It was something in my resting-face. It had at some point turned disdainful, possibly due to the makeup.

Which was strange, not only because I didn't at first recognize myself, but because at the time I had been sure I was exuding sad. So I've finally gotten what I always claimed to want...a face that naturally doesn't show what I'm thinking.

The problem being, of course, that if I have no cognitive connection between what I think I'm expressing and what I'm actually expressing, I have no idea of knowing what sort of an impression I'm giving off.

Or how much that impression has to do with how I treat people, or am treated by them.

I spent some time with this thought.

I am still spending time with this thought.